By the title of this post, you may be wondering what the heck is going on?! Well… if you tuned into my instagram, facebook, or twitter account last week, you very well could’ve seen my posting about being at the BC Cancer agency for a routine ultrasound. This ultrasound is the first of the year for me. And, together with my mom, I went to my appointment, was scanned and left feeling pretty good.
To start off the appointment, the technician called me from the waiting room outside of radiology and the labratory where patients had their blood draws done. In the halls, were a couple stretchers with patients laying still to be called. Sitting amongst the many chairs were patients who were visibly in treatment or post treatment, as they had bald heads or had headscarves on. Being at the agency never gets old. The feeling of anxiety and stress that accompany each of my visits never gets old. It’s a feeling like no other. It’s a place where you don’t wanna get bad news, just good, but that is something you can never be fully guarunteed.
Once I got called by the technician, I was told that my mom couldn’t come in with me. Each time is different, sometimes I’m allowed a support person, other times not. You just never know whether it’s gonna be a yes or no to company. I was hoping for a yes, but I wasn’t too deflected when she said I’d have to go in alone. She kindly complimented me on my shirt that I wore that day and then passed me a blue patient gown to wear. Luckily I was able to keep my bra one. It is one piece of support I need daily. LOL!
Ok, so back to the appointment. There I layed quietly while she squeezed the warm goo on my kneck. Back and forth she moved the ultrasound wand over and around both sides of my neck. This took about an hour to complete. We talked about my blog. About how I wanted to inspire others to be more self aware and body conscious. How one of my biggest goals from writing this blog is to reach out to people and educate them about how my life has changed in many ways, mostly positive from being a cancer patient. I felt comfortable and in that hour, I didn’t stress much at all.
Following her examination of me, she had me sit up and off she went to the computer to write her report. She then left the room stating she’d show her report and findings to the radiologist and then likely my appointment would be done. I was relieved, but then she came in with the radiologist about 15 minutes later.
He politely introduced himself, but for the life of me, I can’t remember his name. Too many visits, too many techs to remember their first names. All I can recall is that he was a nice man. He stated he’d take a look and scan me himself. To be sure of what she had seen on the exam. Over every little mm of my neck, he measured, snapped shots on the screen and typed in labels for his findings. At the end of it all, he said that things looked promising. To wait is all I needed to do and that my oncologist would get back to me in five business days. So with all the positivity that I had in me, I smiled, said I’d go with the flow and off I went. He commented about how positive I was and how nice and refreshing it was to meet someone like me. I nodded my head and said, well, “I really don’t have a choice do I?” We smiled again and bid eachother farewell. I said my thanks, left the room. Changed and returned back to the waiting room to meet mom.
That was last Thursday. The weekend came and went. We got out of the city and stayed at a friends cabin in Sunshine Valley, BC and had a great time with friends. Back to the grind of the week. I’ve just gotten over my pneumonia and all I really could do now was wait.
This brings me to Wednesday evening. I had a missed call on my voicemail from my oncologist. He asked I call him back at the Cancer Agency the following day to chat. So yesterday, I called him, and of course he wasn’t in the office yet. That was around 8:30am. Marcus, Sophia and I went to my parents house yesterday morning after I attempted the call. Marcus wasn’t feeling like going to preschool and so we played hookey. This isn’t something we do on a regular basis, but yesterday I didn’t wanna fight it. Within a few minutes of being at my parents house, I noticed my phone vibrating. I had no clue it was on silent, but luckily I answered when I did. It was my oncologist.
He opened up the conversation with a nice hello and then he said that the final report from my ultrasound was not ready. But, he did receive an email from the radiologist. Then the news came. They have found a few suspicious lymph nodes on the right side of my neck, just under my jaw line. I felt my stomach sink a bit. He said, he was sorry to have to deliver this type of news. I said it was ok, but what does this all mean now? For starters, I am going to need another ultrasound in the next couple weeks. He is going to add a needle guided biopsy of the lymph nodes that are looking suspicious. If the nodes come back cancerous, this means he will recommended surgical removal of the nodes. Which means another surgery. Which means more iodine treatment afterwards. I’ve gotta get some bloodwork done before the biopsy to make sure my blood is clotting normally. I have to lay off any Advil or Aspirin, because we all know those can thin your blood. And now I wait again. I told him that I was thankful for his call and that I will just go with the flow. Afterall, I managed three years now without having a recurrence. I should be thankful right?! So that was it, we ended the call then and he explained to me that he’d look at my history, how many surgeries and treatments I’ve had. Because there is a max that you can have. In total I’ve had three neck surgeries, three iodine treatments, three isolative periods in my life where human contact is nil. Good Lord, let’s hope the biopsy shows no cancer please! That would be the best news ever!
We just wait now. I believe I was at my parents house for a reason yesterday. Not just to head to Costco with my mom, but for support that I’d need for the call. Who cared about the hookey from preschool. I had my news and now the only thing to do is pray for the best and find my strength.
Life hands you lemons, and you just make lemonade right?! Making the most of things because there’s so much goodness around me right now, I’m bursting at the seams to see what 2016 has in store for me! I’m gonna rejoice in the fact that I have this blog to share my journey, a roof over my head, food in the fridge, and a hubby, kids, family and friends that I love. Life is pretty damn good, if you think of it.
Have you ever been diagnosed with cancer or something that just shook you to the core?